Snow, Snow, Go Away! Ruin Someone Else's Day!

Let me start off this post by saying, "I HATE SNOW!"  That's right, I said it!  I FREAKING HATE SNOW!

Call me Scrooge!  Shout "Bah Humbug!"  Say whatever you'd like, but I TRULY believe that snow is only necessary on 2-4 nights of the year:  Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, (and sometimes) New Years Eve, and New Years Day.

So what prompted this hate-filled rant, you ask? This:

Source: Uploaded by user via Jennifer on Pinterest

True life!  I woke up this morning to a white nightmare outside of my window!  I rarely watch the news, and I truly had no clue whatsoever that it was calling for snow of any sort (even though it was only a slight dusting that melted off not long after lunch).  So, waking up to unexpected snow... WHAT THE CRAP?!  Then, I come home, hoping to relax after a long day of work, and I have to read everyone's happy, crappy statuses about how great the freaking snow is!  Well, I am firm believer in freedom of speech.  I will not tell you that you cannot post about your love of snow, but I will get passively aggressively angry about it and post a blog venting MY counter-feelings.  So, before anyone tells me how awful of a human being I am, just remember that I did NOT disturb your post, so you better not disturb mine.  You WILL NOT convince me that snow is wonderful!  You WILL NOT melt my Grinch Heart!  Just let me wallow in my utter hatred for the snow while I ignore your post about how wonderful it is!  Deal?  So, before you judge me, hear me out... I actually make a lot of sense.

Why I Hate Snow

1. I have to go outside and start/clean off my car early (I like to be able to hop in and go, folks; anything that hinders that is my mortal enemy)!
2. I have to drive in it, and while I am a good, safe driver, snow turns most people into total driving morons!
3. My husband has to drive in it and rescue the sorry behinds of the driving morons when they wreck (after giving them a ticket... for being a moron)!
4. I have to shovel it!



Source: Uploaded by user via ~~Lilbitcntry64~~ on Pinterest


5. It's cold (I stinking hate being cold)!
6. As I mentioned earlier, the only days of the year that I think snow is necessary/pretty are the days that it rarely ever snows!  It will snow every other stinking day of winter, but I have rarely seen a fresh dusting of snow on a crisp Christmas morning.  If there is snow, it's usually the week-old, half-melted, dirty, messy, neighbor's-dog-took-a-dump-right-on-top-of-it variety.  NO THANKS!
7. To go right along with #6, one year (the first winter in my house), all the neighborhood dogs (dogs whom their disgusting excuses for owners do not watch) and stray cats decided to take a collection of dumps right on top a frozen crust of snow on my front lawn.  The only thing worse than having other people's pets crap on your lawn is having the ground be bright white and frozen, making the dung bombs visible from outer space and making them even more fun to try to shovel up.  Then, when you do shovel it up, a poop stain is left behind in the snow for all to see, so you can continue to be ashamed of your snow/poop-covered lawn (neither of which you asked for).





Source: oddee.com via Joan on Pinterest


8. I have a tendency to trip and fall on my @$$ on a good day!  Throw ice into the mix, and I'm guaranteed to make a complete and utter fool of myself!  This year, I bought slip-proof shoes... yeah, we'll see how THAT goes!
9. Melting Snow on my Roof = Icicles... they threaten your every move and mock your eyeballs.
10. Cold = Turn on the Heat = Holy Freaking Heating Oil, Batman = There goes my Christmas Budget

I could go on and on and on, really, but a nice even top 10 list always looks nicely rounded out to me.

Source: i.chzbgr.com via Jade on Pinterest

So, basically, snow makes me want to do an angry dance, like Bret from Flight of the Conchords:

P.S.  If you have never watched Flight of the Conchords, there is a hole in your life that can only be filled by watching it, so go do that... right now, instead of thinking about stupid snow!

The only good thing about snow is... SNOW DAYS!  Being a teacher, I can still garner some small amount of joy if (and only if) it snows enough that we get a Snow Day (or 2-Hour Delay... I'll take some of those, please)!  Any other snowstorm insignificant enough to not merit a Snow Day... USELESS!  If it's not going to snow on Christmas... USELESS!  Keep your snow!  I'd happily buy a summer home in Florida where it maintains a nice average December temperature of 70-80!  Some of the happiest days of my life were spent in the Bahamas and Florida in December for my Honeymoon last year!  PERFECT WEATHER!  Not too hot... not too cold... just right!  Shorts during the day, and a light jacket at night... PERFECT!  Seriously, if I could afford to take that trip every December, you'd better believe that I would!  I could have happily lived on that Royal Caribbean Cruise Ship or in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter FOREVER!

So, in case you haven't gathered, I HATE SNOW!  Don't try to change me, and I'll try not to verbally choke the life out of your sickeningly happy Facebook statuses about this white devil powder. Sound good?  GREAT! :)

P.S.  Happy 57th Birthday, Bill Nye "the Science Guy"! :)

Source: Uploaded by user via Kate on Pinterest

Marriage and Music on a Monday!

Can you tell I am fond of alliteration and literary references?  I guess it's the word nerd in me.

Source: etsy.com via Katharine on Pinterest

To start off with, today officially marks the first anniversary of my marriage!  And I finally got the "Thank You" notes mailed... last Wednesday!  That's right... 5 days ago!   Wedding etiquette says you have a year to mail out thank you notes, and we took that guideline VERY LITERALLY!  My husband and I tend to procrastinate, but that wasn't the only reason it took us so long to get those things mailed out!  We didn't end up getting our photos until 4-5 months after the wedding, so that kind of delayed things a bit.  The wait was TOTALLY worth it, though, because I was super happy with the results!  Anyone who can make me look pretty when I was 30 pounds overweight* and my skin had been breaking out just weeks before because of the stress is a-okay in my book!

Then, right after we got photos, the busiest time of the school year commenced (state testing), and time just got away from me.  It didn't help that I was taking (and still am) graduate credits for my permanent teaching certification either.  Summer flew by (as it always does), and the next thing I knew, the ol' one year was just around the corner.  Busy, busy, busy!  It ended up working out really nicely, though, because we came up with the idea to send the thank you notes like "Anniversary" cards, so that people would get them a few days before the wedding anniversary.  This way, they would be a nice little reminder of that day for the people receiving them!  Since they were photo thank you notes, too, it was like each person got their own wedding photos as a thank you/anniversary present!  I'm happy the way it all turned out!  Efficient I might not be, but clever I certainly can be! :)  I will not post the entire thank you note here, but here is a wedding photo for your enjoyment!

See!  Totally worth the wait, right?!  I could not even pick a favorite because I love so many!  Definitely, definitely, definitely will be recommending this photographer to anybody local who needs a reasonably-priced, fantastically-talented photographer for their wedding!

On a more random note, this past summer, I ambitiously claimed on a Facebook post (in a pseudo-blog form) that I would be posting a song daily while sharing with my Facebook audience the memory which that song evoked.  I cleverly called the post "Songs of Summer."  The only problem?  I was AWFUL at actually posting the songs (see "busy, busy, busy" above).  So, I thought, why not attempt to do here (on this blog) what I could not do there (on Facebook).  As a result, I have come up with my first posting theme:  Music Mondays.  Each Monday (that I remember to post), I would like to try to blog about a song which I find to be totally awesome, and then, I will share with you why it is so awesome!  If you like this idea, let me know.  If you do not, I will probably do it anyway... just because... it's my blog... DEAL WITH IT!

So, anyway, the song I have chosen to share with you today is actually one of my ALL-TIME favorite songs from one of my ALL-TIME favorite movies!  It is a song called "Only You" by the band Yazoo.  The song plays toward the end of the movie Can't Hardly Wait, a movie which my husband, Shawn, and I will watch pretty much any time we see that it's on.  As a result, we quote this movie ALL the time (well, we quote pretty much every movie all the time, but this is one of our favorites).

Source: conchella.tumblr.com via Katharine on Pinterest

The music in the song is also deliciously synthesized 80's gold!  Can't beat that!  I love me some cheesy 80's synthesizer!  And, as if we needed yet another reason to love this song, Yazoo was referenced/featured on the British (the original) version of The Office, which we also love!

Source: google.com via Katharine on Pinterest

For all of these reasons (and just the sheer fact that this song is AMAZING), we decided to make this song the last song played at our wedding reception! :)  We love the words, the music, and all of the memories associated with it!  Here's a very special song, from our very special day! :)  I hope you enjoy it!  HAPPY MUSIC MONDAY (and Happy Anniversary to me)! :)

I found a video which also incorporates clips from the television show Fringe, which I used to be OBSESSED WITH!   I wish I had kept up with watching it... perhaps I'll need to buy it on DVD someday... until then... enjoy the added bonus! :)

*My husband made me fat when we started dating 3 years ago.  At least, I like to blame him, but it probably had a lot more to do with buying my own house, cooking my own meals, going on dates with him to nice restaurants with fattening foods, and my age/slowing metabolism.  It was a fatal combination, and I have been trying to lose those 30 extra pounds ever since.

Blogging and Nighttime and Spiders, Oh My!

So... here it is... the post you've all been waiting for... THE FREAKING SPIDER POST!

So... those of you that know me might think I'm overstating the obvious a bit when I say, "I FREAKING HATE SPIDERS!!!!"

Not one, but TWO people sent me this lovely picture saying that it reminded them of me.  How true!

In Pennsylvania, in the fall, the spiders come out... or rather, they try to come in!  Lately, I've been trying to get home well before nightfall.  The reason being that my house seems to be the cool hangout for Giant House Spiders*.  That is their actual name, so that should tell you I'm not exaggerating about their size.  You see, Giant House Spiders are hunting spiders, meaning they do not trap prey in a web, but rather, they come out at night to look for spider yum-yums.  Well, apparently, there are quite A LOT of spider yum-yums around my house... A WHOLE FREAKING LOT OF SPIDER YUM-YUMS... because when I get home I am greeted by AT LEAST 10 spiders just waiting by my door.  Trying to gain entrance, trying to catch food, trying to murder me in my sleep... I can't really be sure, but regardless, THEY MUST ALL DIE!  Most nights I can avoid this spider onslaught, but Thursday nights are my late nights (I have a 3-hour long class, and the commute is 45 minutes both ways, so I do not get home till around 9:00... which is AFTER NIGHTFALL).  On Thursday nights, this encounter is unavoidable (but apparently quite entertaining for my neighbors).

A few weeks ago, I came home to find so many spiders that I had just had ENOUGH!  I decided to kill all those 8-legged demons... and kill them good!  Well, I figured since there were like 10 on my one porch that there were probably like 10 more on the front porch, so I would kill them, too!  On my way to the other porch (note to self: get rid of extra porches... less porches = less spiders), going through the house, I spotted yet ANOTHER spider who had gotten into the house (but didn't make it back out alive... muah ha ha).  While I was on my spider hunt, I could hear my neighbors on THEIR porch laughing hysterically.  Perhaps it was because I was still in my high heels and dress clothes, stomping on some spiders at 9 p.m.  Perhaps it was because I was DDT-ing my whole house... at 9 p.m.  Perhaps it was the fact that I was screaming "Die!" and "Demon!" each and every time I killed one of those hell beasts.  Or maybe they were on the phone, or laughing at each other, but I am paranoid, so they were MOST DEFINITELY laughing at me!

Well, for the past week or so, even though I've tried to make sure that I'm home before nightfall, the problem is MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN LEAVING FOR WORK AT NIGHTFALL!  So, when I go to kiss him good-bye... SPIDER ATTACK!  Seriously, they all race to see who can make it into the house (note:  Giant House Spiders are supposedly THE fastest moving spider, according to the interwebs, at an impressive, a.k.a deadly, speed of about a foot and a half PER SECOND... PER FREAKING SECOND)!  Well, most of these spiders, try as they might, end up as skid marks on our porch, which should serve as a warning to all others that "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" but these spiders are so set on getting their yum-yums that they don't seem to care.

Now, typically, I am greeted by these Giant House Spiders, like this guy.

However, let me just note that he is actually quite small compared to the average House Spider we find on our porch.  For a size reference, that bottom trim on the siding is just under an inch wide.  He's about that size, so he's pretty small (like the size of a quarter).

But tonight, I was in for an extra special treat when I was greeted by this fellow.  This, my blog-tastic friends, is the first OFFICIAL Wolf Spider I have spotted at our house.

People always say that, when they have big spiders at their house, they have Wolf Spiders, but I am willing to bet that they probably, more often than not, have the run-of-the-mill Giant House Spiders.  This guy... a house spider he was NOT.  Again, a size reference... that trim is just under an inch wide.  That would make this bad boy about 2+ inches in size!  Another size reference:  that is a maple tree seed spinner underneath the siding, so if you can picture how big they are... he was not much smaller than that.  If you look at actual Wolf Spider pictures, this guy matches that color pattern perfectly... TOO PERFECTLY!  Thank goodness hubby arrived just in time to kill this guy for me!  I was NOT looking forward to that crunch-tastic delight.

Please note that in both photos THEIR EYES ARE FREAKING GLOWING FROM THE FLASH!

So, laugh at me ALL you want, but at least now you can see that I am NOT exaggerating.  Little spiders I can handle.  Do I like them?  No... but I can handle them.  These guys... they're the kind that will keep you up at night... because they are plotting the demise of mankind!


P.S.  Speaking of the husband working the late shift... It NEVER fails!  When Shawn is working a stretch of midnights, this is me:

Source: hundredsofhilariouspics.com via Katharine on Pinterest

Or, you know... spiders...

*Since this post was originally written, I have done further research on spiders commonly found in Pennsylvania.  This was mostly prompted by me becoming a mother and wanting to make sure these spiders could not potentially cause harm to my son.  After this research, I have come to suspect that the spiders we deal with at my house are more likely to be Barn Funnel Weaver Spiders.  As fast, big, and creepy as these guys are, their bites have not been known to be harmful to humans at all, and they are typically only known to bite when someone attempts to hold or trap them (which will never be a problem for me).  Apparently they are big scaredy cats... er, spiders.

"Begin at the Beginning..." --Lewis Carroll

So... here it is... my first official blog post! :)

Well... actually... once upon a time I had a Xanga account (circa 2005-2007).  Perhaps someday I will need to dust it off, and share some of my old posts over here.  At the very least, I'm sure my idea of blogging during my college years would be quite entertaining for all of you... or... at least, me!  But, that is another story for another blog post!  So much has changed since college... *sighs*... and almost every last bit of it has been FOR THE BETTER (to put it mildly)!

However, there's one thing that has not changed since college... actually, it hasn't changed since about 4th-6th grade:  I LOVE TO WRITE!  My love of writing was perhaps first ignited when I won 2nd place in a poetry contest for writing an acrostic poem about Sea Horses in 4th grade.  I think I won a dollar and a red ribbon for my pains.

Source: via Emily on Pinterest

"Dollah, dollah bill, yo!"

I felt like I was the coolest kid in town... especially since I did not even realize the poems were being judged.  Although, my surprise victory soon turned to pompousness when I read the 1st-prize-winning poem and thought to myself, "Pfft!  It doesn't even rhyme!"  Of course, this was back in the day when I thought all poems simply MUST rhyme... except for acrostic poems about Sea Horses that is... FACT:  THEY did NOT have to rhyme.

Anyway, after that first bite from the writing bug, I became intrigued to say the least, but the itch did not fully set in until sixth grade when I discovered that writing was an extremely effective (and FREE) form of therapy!  And... I have been writing ever since... albeit, much more sporadically these days.  You see, now that I'm kind of a grown-up and all, society kind of expects me to have this thing called a J-O-B (a three-letter swear word, if you ask me), so it leaves very little time to indulge in leisurely pastimes.

Source: someecards.com via Katharine on Pinterest

So, over the course of the past several years of almost non-existent writing, I have felt a tremendous void in my life!  Where had my passion gone!  I NEEDED to get back into my writing... not only for the sake of my own sanity (this IS my free version of therapy, after all), but also, for the sake of the sanity of those around me, as, when I cannot express my emotions freely, I tend to get a bit wacky/crabby.

However, I had pretty much come to terms with the fact that what my high school English teacher had once said was probably true.  I had told her that I wanted to become a teacher because, not only did I LOVE to learn, but I would have summers/holidays off to write (and be a mommy... someday)!  I thought I had it ALL planned out.  Then she responded by saying, "Yeah, that's what I used to think, too!  I always thought I would use my summers to write, and then, life and family happened."  That's a paraphrase, of course, but you get the idea:  dreams crushed!  But, I was determined!  I WOULD prove her wrong... I WOULD have my cake and eat it, too!  And... almost 10 years since that conversation... she seemed to be absolutely, disappointingly correct. :-(  I had always had big plans to become a published writer and do something truly amazing with my life... live on in my written word... and then... LIFE HAPPENED!  *sighs*  I began to think that maybe my teacher had been right after all.  Maybe it was a fool's dream to think that I, little ol' Katharine, from Rural Town, Pennsylvania, could ever become a writer.

Then, inspiration came, at the time it was most needed, in the form of a friend's blog.  Let me introduce you to my amazing friend Kristin, whom I had met and befriended in college because we were both in the Elementary Education program at Penn State and we were both OBSESSED with The Office.  We also bonded over the fact that she is Kristin with two i's and I am Katharine with two a's, and lazy, dumb people are ALWAYS and FOREVER spelling our names wrong... even when they have the correct spelling right in front of their stupid faces!

Source: google.sk via Katharine on Pinterest

True Life

So, anyway, one day I noticed that Kristin was posting links on her Facebook page that led to her super, awesome, amazing, hysterical, deliciously sarcastic blog!  So, naturally, I started reading these posts and soon became an avid follower of her words!

Check her blog out here:

"Do it!  Now!" --in Arnold Schwarzenegger voice
Now, Kristin is also a full-time school teacher and full-time wife (an Army wife to be exact... she deserves some extra love for that!), so if she can make time to write a blog, what's my excuse, right?  RIGHT?!  Well, Kristin is a bit better at functioning as an adult than I am (she might argue to the contrary, but TRUST ME, she is!), so she gives me something to aspire to!  She cooks, she bakes, she teaches, she blogs, she crafts, SHE DOES IT ALL!  And most of all... SHE INSPIRES ME, EVERY DAY!  It is thanks to her encouragement (and the encouragement of several other awesome friends) that I decided that, not only COULD I blog, but I HAD to blog.  Writing is in my DNA!  Not that I'm the greatest writer, or the most interesting writer, but I am a writer who needs her writing to provide some sort of outlet/connection to the world around her!  So... blogging it is!
Now, I have NO CLUE what this blog is or what it will become, and I truly apologize that this introductory post is so TERRIBLY long, but if you can bear with me, I can promise you one thing:  it will NOT be boring!  My life might not be the coolest or most exciting, but it is certainly far from boring either!  I've been told that I have a gift for storytelling, so I guess we will find out...

Maybe, starting this blog might even inspire me to finally begin writing that novel that's been hiding in the back of my brain for over a decade now... just maybe!  Perhaps I CAN have my cake and eat it, too (or, you know, work AND write if you want to be literal)... perhaps!  Anyway, it's worth a shot, right? So, thank you, Kristin, from the bottom of my heart!  Writing this first post has been very cathartic, so I can only imagine the true bliss that is to come from letting my thoughts flow freely and having a blogosphere of supporters (hopefully)!  And, to the rest of you reading this (all 3 or 4 of you... just kidding... maybe), thank you, too, for putting up with my ramblings and struggling to find some way to harvest some cheap entertainment from my cheap therapy!  TRULY AND SINCERELY!  THANK YOU FOR INDULGING ME!  You make me feel like I might be able to fulfill my dream of becoming a writer yet.  Someday... someday... Until then, ENJOY! :-)

Source: 3.bp.blogspot.com via Kristen on Pinterest