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Before finally deciding that Blogger would be my blogging home, I also dabbled in blogging at Xanga and writing Facebook notes as blog entries. I am eventually planning to delete my Xanga (and probably most of my Facebook notes) once and for all just due to the sheer fact that some of them are no longer relevant and some of them are terribly embarrassing (weren't we all a little embarrassing in our teens and early twenties).
Source: Found on left-my-heart-in-paris.tumblr.com via Kate on Pinterest
However, there are actually some posts that I wrote that I can still look back upon with enough writer's pride (or at least enough nostalgia) that I want to keep them around. Since this is my new blogging "home," I have decided that I will be sharing some of these old posts with my new audience. Call it lazy blogging/writing--the recycling/republishing of old material--but I prefer to call it... consolidation.
This entry was originally posted as a Facebook note on July 29th, 2009, at 1:31 a.m. My thoughts on Social Networking...
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When we "social network," we get to pick and choose what others get to see about us. We get to pick and choose our truths and our falsehoods. We can portray ourselves however we want and, at the same time, hide whatever we don't want people to know. It ends up being quite a superficial farce.
I'm a person, not a random piece of pixelated data on some screen. I'm so tired of being treated like an RSS feed and not a person, friend, or colleague. When people can access your information 24/7 without having to talk to you, it makes it easier to avoid actual, meaningful contact with you. I'm so exhausted and tired of going out of my way to treat people like human beings and unique individuals only to find out that, to them, I am nothing more than a number on their screen to make them look good, or an easy way to snoop when they really don't feel like talking to me, or someone they call a "friend" then treat differently by picking and choosing what truths to tell me and what to hold back. I'm tired of people trying to hurt me by what they do or what they say, or even what they don't do or what they don't say to me.
Being my "friend" on a social networking site does not prove anything to me. Lately, it has been becoming clearer and clearer to me who actually cares and who doesn't. The honest truth is that I don't have hundreds of friends in real life, and I'm really sorry to inform you that you most likely don't either.
A friend is someone who is there for you, no matter what; who is not afraid to be honest and open with you, no matter what; who actually cares about what's going on in your life, not necessarily because what you do interests them, but simply because YOU interest them and that is enough, no matter what. And if you have honestly found hundreds of these types of people, then you have led a really fortunate/blessed life, but I have a feeling most of you out there have not.
So, why am I rambling on and on about social networking sites, seemingly reprimanding people for their behaviors on them; meanwhile, I am a member on said sites and appear terribly hypocritical? That's just it, you see. I feel like the biggest hypocrite of them all. I want people to treat me like a person and take the time to get to know ME and what's important to me, and yet, here I am, checking Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, and other various networks to see what people are up to because it's easier than actually making an effort to talk to them or keep in touch.
It is for this reason, that I have decided to temporarily "privatize"/"make invisible"/"block"/"whatever you want to call it," as much of my information on these sites as possible for an indefinite amount of time. In that time, I hope to really find out who my true friends are because they will be the people that know what's going on in my life currently without the aide of the aforementioned "social networking" sources. What does this mean? I'm ready to be treated like a person again. I'm ready to be the one receiving letters and cards, rather than the one always sending them; I'm ready to be called on the telephone to have a conversation and discuss what's new in my life, rather than being the one to call or the one begging to be called; I'm ready to be the one who you actually stop and talk to when you see me, rather than the one you just walk on past or nod slightly to; I'm ready to be the one you're honest to (even if it's going to upset me), rather than the one you just avoid discussing certain things with because it's easier that way; I'm ready to be the one you MAKE time for, rather than the one you squeeze in when it's convenient.
Basically, I'm just ready to mean something to somebody again. Is that so much to ask for? I guess I'll find out soon enough.
I'm a person, not a random piece of pixelated data on some screen. I'm so tired of being treated like an RSS feed and not a person, friend, or colleague. When people can access your information 24/7 without having to talk to you, it makes it easier to avoid actual, meaningful contact with you. I'm so exhausted and tired of going out of my way to treat people like human beings and unique individuals only to find out that, to them, I am nothing more than a number on their screen to make them look good, or an easy way to snoop when they really don't feel like talking to me, or someone they call a "friend" then treat differently by picking and choosing what truths to tell me and what to hold back. I'm tired of people trying to hurt me by what they do or what they say, or even what they don't do or what they don't say to me.
Being my "friend" on a social networking site does not prove anything to me. Lately, it has been becoming clearer and clearer to me who actually cares and who doesn't. The honest truth is that I don't have hundreds of friends in real life, and I'm really sorry to inform you that you most likely don't either.
A friend is someone who is there for you, no matter what; who is not afraid to be honest and open with you, no matter what; who actually cares about what's going on in your life, not necessarily because what you do interests them, but simply because YOU interest them and that is enough, no matter what. And if you have honestly found hundreds of these types of people, then you have led a really fortunate/blessed life, but I have a feeling most of you out there have not.
So, why am I rambling on and on about social networking sites, seemingly reprimanding people for their behaviors on them; meanwhile, I am a member on said sites and appear terribly hypocritical? That's just it, you see. I feel like the biggest hypocrite of them all. I want people to treat me like a person and take the time to get to know ME and what's important to me, and yet, here I am, checking Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, and other various networks to see what people are up to because it's easier than actually making an effort to talk to them or keep in touch.
It is for this reason, that I have decided to temporarily "privatize"/"make invisible"/"block"/"whatever you want to call it," as much of my information on these sites as possible for an indefinite amount of time. In that time, I hope to really find out who my true friends are because they will be the people that know what's going on in my life currently without the aide of the aforementioned "social networking" sources. What does this mean? I'm ready to be treated like a person again. I'm ready to be the one receiving letters and cards, rather than the one always sending them; I'm ready to be called on the telephone to have a conversation and discuss what's new in my life, rather than being the one to call or the one begging to be called; I'm ready to be the one who you actually stop and talk to when you see me, rather than the one you just walk on past or nod slightly to; I'm ready to be the one you're honest to (even if it's going to upset me), rather than the one you just avoid discussing certain things with because it's easier that way; I'm ready to be the one you MAKE time for, rather than the one you squeeze in when it's convenient.
Basically, I'm just ready to mean something to somebody again. Is that so much to ask for? I guess I'll find out soon enough.
~~~~~~~~~~
When I originally wrote this post, I truly did go off the grid for a bit. A lot of big changes were occurring in my life, and I needed some time to get back to being human. I believe that this is why in the past I have given up Social Networking at various times and for various reasons and why others have done the same. Even to this day, I go back and forth between wanting to keep or delete my Facebook. There are some people who I am "friends" with because I have to be (denying a request would be rude because they are people with which I have some type of real-world connection), and it makes me really, really uncomfortable to think that they have any shred of access to my personal life without taking the time or effort to really know me. I know that seems like a ridiculous statement coming from someone who is blogging, but I pick and choose what people see here, and while I do the same with Facebook, I'm a little more open on that forum because of the wide array of privacy options. I just find the process of being "friends" with people who are not really your friends to be all sorts of ridiculous.
What are your thoughts? Pro-Facebook/Social Media? Anti-Facebook/Social Media? What is your policy for "friending" and "unfriending" people? How do you handle getting requests from people you know in real life, but really don't want to "friend"?
Years after this original post, I still have many of these same feelings (minus the dramatics and the references to MySpace--does anyone even use that anymore?), and it makes me wonder how I'll handle all of this when my son is someday old enough to ask, "Hey, Mom! Can I get a Facebook?" Maybe by that time, people will actually be back to talking to one another. One can hope...
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What are your thoughts? Pro-Facebook/Social Media? Anti-Facebook/Social Media? What is your policy for "friending" and "unfriending" people? How do you handle getting requests from people you know in real life, but really don't want to "friend"?
Years after this original post, I still have many of these same feelings (minus the dramatics and the references to MySpace--does anyone even use that anymore?), and it makes me wonder how I'll handle all of this when my son is someday old enough to ask, "Hey, Mom! Can I get a Facebook?" Maybe by that time, people will actually be back to talking to one another. One can hope...
Source: Found on apps.allwomenstalk.com via Kate on Pinterest
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